Ya mama’s so fat her wand is a Slim Jim.
Yo family's so poor that you make the weaseleys look like the Malfoy's!
Yo mama so dumb she licked the package her owl brought thinking it would give her Parseltounge.
Yo mama so dumb that a stupify spell actually made her smarter.
Yo mama so easy everyone in Charms class has Expelliarmused on her Wingardium Leviosas.
Yo mama so fat even Grawp can’t pick her up!
Yo mama so fat Ollivander gave her a pizza-core wand.
Yo mama so fat she ate the Death Eaters.
Yo mama so fat she ate the Marauder's Map thinking she spilled Skittles on some parchment.
Yo mama so fat she joined the Death Eaters cause she was hungry!
Yo mama so fat she looked in the mirror of Erised and saw a ham!
Yo mama so fat she sees the same sight whether she's at the start-of-term feast or the Room of Requirement.
Yo mama so fat that even her Quidditch robes have stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat that it takes two boggarts to shape-shift into her!
Yo mama so fat the core of her wand has a creame filling.