Edward is so creepy he creeps into your room at night and stands in the far corner.
Edward is so weak Alucard killed him just by looking at him.
Yo Edward is so creepy that he watches you while you sleep.
Yo Edward is so fat that when he goes swimming, whales come out and start singing "We are Family"!
Yo Edward is so gay, he sparkles.
Yo Edward is so lame that he dates Bella.
Yo Edward is so old he still owes Moses a quarter.
Yo Edward is so old he watches the history channel just to see if he's on it.
Yo Edward is so old that he went to school with George Washington.
Yo Edward is so old the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
Yo Edward is so stupid it took him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo Edward's so bald I can see what he's thinking!
Yo Edward's so old when God said 'Let there be light' he flipped the switch!
Yo mama's so fat that she crossed the tv room and i lost the Twilight whole saga.
Yo mama's so ugly that neither Jacob nor Edward want her on their team.